Passing Events

One pretty serious aspect of my Social Anxiety is avoidance. Even when I'd like to attend certain events, I find myself unable to push myself to do so. Tonight I have decided not to go to a party with some of my friends. It seems like it would be a great chance to get to know someone new, but I can't seem to bring myself to want to go. I think it has more to do with past patterns than my current anxiety. It seems that I'll be staying in tonight and relaxing. I was considering going to see a band with one of my friends, but he's going with someone from one of his classes, so I don't want to risk having a bad time with someone I don't know.

I've been taking Celexa for 3 days now, and have not had any negative side effects. It seems to me that if I haven't developed them at this point, they may not be coming. I'm hoping for the best. The past few days I seem to have felt pretty good. I'm not sure that this would be an effect of the medicine definitely, or it could be due to the relief that I've been feeling after talking to a psychiatrist. I think that was one of the best moments in my life. At that moment I was truly proud of myself. I was proud of myself for accepting my weakness, and making a decision to get help. I think there is weakness in those who refuse to seek help for problems that they alone can't handle. In that moment I also knew that I had made the first step to overcome my anxiety.

I registered at the counseling center of my university, and recieved a call back from my assigned counselor...It turned out that it was a student-counselor. I called and requested to not have a student counselor. I want a therapist that is well knowledgeable, and experienced. They agreed to my request, though they seemed somewhat annoyed by it. I understand that the students need practice...but I don't want to be their experiment. My life means a lot to me, and I would like to deal with my problems in the most effective way possible. I hope to get a call back from them soon, so I can begin cognitive behavioral therapy. I really want to change the way I think so that I can avoid my anxiety causing thoughts, and live a worry free life.